Friday, November 2, 2012

Working THROUGH the kinks.

NaBloPoMo ~ If you could live anywhere, where would it be?

Digging my heels in over here. I have a strange relationship with dreams. They have been pretty non-existent for the last several years. This is one of those questions that can be easily answered if one has room in their life to dream or for someone who's dreams have not been beaten down year after year.

Odd as this may sound, I don't have big dreams for myself. Nor do I have big dreams for The OffSpring. I have simple expectations, with fervent preparations for any alternatives that may come about. I expect moments of joy, togetherness, a roof over our heads, food in our belly, love, community, enough suffering to keep us balanced..... Catch my drift?

There's that saying: "No matter where you go, there you are." No matter where I live, it will still be me living there. Changing my address or dreaming of a different one won't change how I live. If I could live anywhere, I would live BETTER where I already live. My heart would be less broken and more loved.

******

OK. OK. OK. This is so not working for me. It's not flowing and I'm forcing it. I let it marinate in my brain for several hours and I'm coming up dry. Why? 'Cause this is not the type of navel gazing I find much value in. Also, there are several things about how I am currently living that I have too much anger and sadness about. I cannot dream of something better, when what I really hunger for is for my current home to actually feel like a home.

I was not too sure how writing prompts would work for me. I have not quit. I'm simply acknowledging that I am not feeling this one. Saturday and Sunday are 'free' writing days. I'll get back on the proverbial 'prompt' horse on Monday.

Wish I could have given you more, but this is all I've got. 'til tomorrow.....

In honor, in memory, in defense.
~MindiTheMagnificent
Momcologist


NaBloPoMo November 2012

1 comment:

Jenn said...

I agree--that no matter where you live, you are always living with you, or as it were in my case, I am always living with me. Honestly, I'm good with me-- I'm just not good with where I am any more. I like the house we have--I'm not in love with it...only because we've outgrown it.

That leaves us with some decisions to have to make about "when" to move--and it always has us guessing when the right time will be. Crazy.

Great post, Jenn
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