*giant sigh*
Today was a big day. We got to sleep in a little and had an easier start to our day. Gregory's fluids started at 9:00, Grandpa showed up around 11:00 and they played for a few hours. Gregory ate a good breakfast. The Cytoxan started at 1:00. It infused over an hour's time. By 3:00 he started heaving. Through Zofran. I knew it was coming, but wasn't really willing to admit it. He had fallen asleep and I figured he was upset because he needed to pee. Not the case. Once he started puking, my stomach just dropped and I felt nauseated as well. It's one of those stereotypical Chemo side effects that hammered home the reality of what we are dealing with. I've been dealing with each step of this, individually. Taking each event as it's own separate occasion. Looking at it cumulitavely is impossible, for me. Retrospect is one thing, thinking about tomorrows details is too much. I don't have a copy of today's labs, yet, but Gregory started to show blood in his urine. Not noticible to the naked eye, but detectible. The Cytoxan is really hard on the bladder (among other things) and they dose him with something to protect the bladder. I can't remember the name of it, I'll get it, but it begins with an M. Another possiblity for blood in the urine would be his platelet level. This morning he was at 12, they ran another platelet count around 2:00 and he was at 9. Platelets were ordered and he was transfused at 10:00. Hopefully this will address the blood in his urine.
I kinda wandered there. So. Heaving at 3:00. He had a heavy duty Zofran dose on board, so the started him on Reglan & Benadryl. Reglan can cause Tourette's-Like symptoms so it is combined with Benadryl and the Benadryl eleminates the risk of this side effect. Needless to say, he's been thoroughly conked out since 3:00. THEN. Around 6:30 he started heaving, again. Through Zofran & Reglan w/ Benadryl. What's the next antiemetic? You ask. Ativan! So. Gregory is now on a three medication schedule for anti-nausea. Zofran, Reglan w/ Benedryl & Ativan. He is out for the count. I need to keep reminding myself that the chemo Gregory is receiving is heavy duty doses. We are elminating an entire system within his body, in seven days time. More Cytoxan, tomorrow.
He also has not had anything to eat or drink since about 2:00. TPN will be here, soon. I've been trying to get him to use diapers/pull-ups again. He is fighting it like crazy. It would be so much less stress on him if he did. Me, too, if I admit it. He is OK with wearing one, but won't use it. Which is good with me. If he does have an accident, at least we won't be wet!
Oral meds!!!!! He was having nothing to do with oral meds, tonight. We needed to get the Dilantin and Allpurinol in him and it just was not working. So...... they are in the process of trying to get his meds via IV. IV meds are super expensive. If he winds up with an Ng tube we can go back to oral meds, 'cause they can simply be done through the tube.
This entry is all over the place and full of technical stuff. It's probably more for me than anyone else. Posterity, ya' know.
I can't begin to process the emotional side. Maybe later, maybe tomorrow. All I can tell you is I feel numb. Like I'm going through the motions. A little spacey and honed in on Gregory. Hyper focused, too. Conversation is a challenge. Getting through these next several weeks is going to be challenging.
As a totally unrelated side note: I finally got the soundtrack to High Fidelity and it is AWESOME!!!!!!!
I'm gonna jet, for now. I need to decompress a little. Can you say "Lord Of The Rings" therapy? I knew you could. Ents here I come.
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